National Lampoon's Dirty Movie (2011)

Sadly I'm surprised National Lampoon is still making
stuff when not really many of their movies are really
funny any more National Lampoon seems to have lost
all its power to make people laugh and then starts to
copy other successful films or series
I have seen a few that were trying to duplicate the whole
American Pie feel and now with this one they seem to
be now copying Dimension Films "Movie" idea such as
Scary movie and Superhero Movie.

Also this movie somewhat misadvertises itself
knowing nothing about it
and going by the front cover alone I thought this was going to be a
parody of the porn industry. I mean look at it. Its called
"Dirty Movie" and there is a hot girl on the cover so I thought
of course a parody of Pron films becasue alot of people call
porn films "Dirty Movies" so I was interested in
seeing it of course.

Now when I started watching it I did like the title cards with the
dog on them if they put those up in a theater people would actually
do what they suggest but in the first few minutes during the opening
I was thinking "wow this is pretty racist?"
and there in lies what the movie is about. Not Porn but actually
Dirty Jokes...? yes that is what it is about.

Basically a somewhat sleazy producer played by
Christopher Meloni (who can actually be very funny watch
"Wet Hot American Summer" he is hilarious in that, but sadly
not in this) goes to the National Lampoon's offices
and pitches a movie of nothing but Dirty jokes.

With that "Dirty Movie" is born
it is basically A sketch comedy film where the characters
play out each joke. from redneck jokes to blonde jokes
to Black, Jewish, Gay people jokes.

I can see they are trying to make it funny but I
didn't laugh at hardly anything in this film.
I only chuckled once the rest of it is just smirk
worthy but I mostly just shook my head at how lame
this thing actually was. Compared to the other recent
comedy I watched called "Bald" bald was
actually funner then this and that is saying something.
also being that it is a "Dirty Movie" there is plenty of
hot girls topless and in the tiniest of thongs jumping and
jiggling around.

But don't watch this for the nudity, only watch it if you
every pondered questions like this:
"What do you call a black hitchhiker?"
or if you just have to hear a 12 year old girl say stuff like:
"Whats the difference between my pussy and my mom's?"

This movie is pretty weak and lame, it also sadly stars
Cyndi Lauper who plays the mom of the foul mouthed Little Johnny.
but like I said this movie is not worth it.
I don't even know why it was made?

Bald (2008)

This was one of those direct to video movies that you see at the video store your basic plot is as follows:

Its basically one of those ones that looks like a bunch of film students gathered together and made this . Now there was some good to this movies there was alot of nice nudity right from the start and that is basically all that this movie has going for it is the nudity. I would have to say the character of " Shirtless Cynthia " was my favorite but other then that the rest of this move was pretty much crap.

Most of all the characters come off as stereotypical there is is guy who is all just smoking huge joints and there is alot of just plain random shit going on that is not even funny

Now some of the internal monologs by the main character were a bit humorous at times but pretty much the movie wasn't . Some of the outtakes at the end of the movie were funnier then the entire movie itself .

There is a scene where they have a infomercial and that was just weird.
One of the people playing a parent in the movie looks like Pro wrestler DDP (Dimond Dallas Page for you not in the know) and one of the funny thing of this is when the Main character and his friends gather in the " war room" for a scene where they plan on taking on the parents you can notice the blue screen effect for the aquarium becasue it glitches and moves oddly and the shark keeps resetting itself which is rather funny.
also the paint ball scene was very stupid.
Like I said this while movie was not very good for a comedy it wasn't very funny and if you were to watch it for the nudity alone that would be a waist of time.

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

Jack's Back!

but that brings into question did he really need to come back??
my answer is a resounding NO...

The movie in the beginning shows that everyone thinks the sheriff is crazy
being that he is talking about killer mutant snowmen, what a loon, right?
so for the following Christmas him his wife and a couple of friends
decide to hear down to the Bahamas to get way from all the crazy Snowman talk.
So meanwhile people with no common sense dig up jack and revive him
width what I don't know? I was wondering what was poured into the mixture
they don't tell you but it can't be something "scientific" being the doctor guy
was drinking it before dumping it in.
So jack is back and heads to the Bahamas to finish off the sheriff.
while at the resort we find out Agent Manners apparent is crazy now and head of Island security and he as well as the character know as "Captain Fun" become 2 of the most annoying characters in this whole movie and I am gleefully happy when they are actually killed off, but anyway there are more outlandish kills (giant snow anvil?) and plenty of stupid scenes (the thing with the ice cubes) Also I'm thinking wouldn't it be to warm for a snowman to be running around some tropical island in the Bahamas? apparently not... and not only is he running around (which he is awfully fast for a snowman) he actually freezes the entire island and makes it snow.. which I am all "ok, sure.." but even that is not the worst some of the main characters show just how smart they truly are when the character of Marla remarks "Oh, come on, Sam, we don't even know if it's Jack Frost." I mean come on how many walking talking killer snowmen do you actually know?
the characters in this are just retarded, but that is not the worst part being that you have to have the character "evolve" Jack starts to lay these snowball looking eggs that actually hatch into vicious little snowball creatures that could fly! or so what I could see anyway and they can only be killed by using bananas. (they explain why only bananas but im not going to get into that)
this movie is pretty much horrible I knew that going in but still watched it I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.